These past few weeks I have been able to look back at how much I really have grown and why maybe that is... I know an incredibly huge part of it was student teaching. The kids actually see you as a teacher, and with that comes ALL of the responsibilities of being a teacher this quote I saw on a blog describes it perfectly...
"A Teacher...
becomes a mom or dad for the day while they are at work
is a doctor- keeping bandaids and nurse's office passes in stock ready to be filled out
is a counselor- with tissues on their desk and an open door.
is a guider, a leader, a facilitator of knowledge.
A teacher is someone who has been handed the trust of our future, and with that comes responsibility and maturity."
I think about the person I was before I was a student teacher and the person I am after student teaching- including the personal life break up- and at times I wish things had never happened, or that I had chosen a different major... But then I look at myself and I have never loved myself more, or known who I really am more than I do today. I have never felt more 23 and I absolutely love it! For the first time I don't feel like I am 17 or 18!
And for the first time... I think I'll actually talk about my last relationship, because while student teaching helped me immensely in maturing professionally- this helped me mature personally.. I have never been more hurt, or had my eyes more opened to the real world than I have with this last relationship. I never understood how girls who were lied to just stood by and took it. I never understood how they didnt see it- until I was that girl. You get so lost in the different stories and the cover ups that... you don't know who to believe and you are more inclined to believe your boyfriend because he is the one you should be able to believe- he is the one you are trusting... because he is your boyfriend and you should be able to put your trust in him... right?
I know now that I am definitely more cautious. I can see personality traits and flags pop up a lot faster and easier than they use to. My trust will still not completely be repaired... maybe ever, but that is not to say that I wont trust a man again- the first one to try will have a lot of work to do, and I do plan on helping with that. I know that it is my choice to not trust or to do trust- and I can't stay this broken or damaged person. People like that live in the past- which is not where I want to be. I have my whole life ahead of me and thankfully- it is not with him. I am thankful to him for that. I am thankful to be strong enough to know that I am 100 times better than that. And I feel sorry for his fiancee... but that is not my problem and I am happy to just have friends and be happy and free.
I am thankful for my experiences in Nampa, I would never have thought that IDAHO would be the state where I would grow into such a well rounded and mature person... in fact it seems like the last place a person can do that, but it has been so liberating to be here and I am so happy for it.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Like Woah...
Its kinda amazing what can happen in just a short 6 months... eh? Lets take a ride down memory lane... Disclaimer: this post will be about student teaching ONLY haha
August: Half of the month was spent in grand ole Texas.... I can't even REMEMBER what happened at home or what I did or who I really even saw.... I know that I was super anxious to go back to Idaho and begin student teaching, I had no idea what to expect or how I would be in a real classroom, being responsible for real grades and learning of kids. Getting back to Idaho and going through a whirlwind orientation to meeting my mentor teacher to starting on my first day. I still felt SO YOUNG on my first day. So unsure of myself and what I was doing. It took a good couple of months before I was really comfortable with what I was doing.
September: It was all I could do to get to this month! Getting to labor day was my #1 goal! It was only 2 weeks after school started, but it seemed to take an eternity! I spent it at home, sleeping in, still getting my room put together! Still getting use to school and worrying about my first eval AHHHHH!
October: FINALLY a few days off! I took a trip down to Utah! It was nice to have some time off to relax and see friends and family... mostly family :) I got back and started my after school job - yeah a job on top of every thing else... believe me I dont know how I did it either! It was nice to have a little money rolling in! Especially since this month I finally had friends and we went out to eat like literally every night... 0_____o
November: Really getting the hang of the classroom! My mentor teacher still has to leave the room when I am teaching so I can actually be the one teaching baha! Kids are seeing me as a teacher and are actually coming to me for stuff instead of my mentor teacher :) AAAWWW YEAH!
December: Basically the last 2 weeks of teaching I was by myself- mentor teacher was a sicky or his kids were a sicky so I was the "sub" which was nice for everyone! I got some good teaching practice in, he got some time off, and the kids still got good lessons because I knew what the crap was going on instead of some random sub who had no idea! This was also when I realized I needed to stay in Idaho, and at my after school job! So like a week before I was supposed to come home, I urgently call home needing to stay in Idaho after break! So we got it all taken care of and I found a new place to live, kept my after school job, and was flying back to TX for 3 weeks!
Looking back, I cannot believe how much I have changed and what all I have learned! Coming back I actually feel like an adult I think.. haha Just thinking about 6 months ago before I started all of this and now... I am such a completely different person.. at the core still the same but really a different person when it comes to how I think about myself, what I know I am capable of and where I need to be going in my life. Student teaching was the craziest, most difficult, intense, worst, and BEST time of my life I can't wait to see what else is in store!
August: Half of the month was spent in grand ole Texas.... I can't even REMEMBER what happened at home or what I did or who I really even saw.... I know that I was super anxious to go back to Idaho and begin student teaching, I had no idea what to expect or how I would be in a real classroom, being responsible for real grades and learning of kids. Getting back to Idaho and going through a whirlwind orientation to meeting my mentor teacher to starting on my first day. I still felt SO YOUNG on my first day. So unsure of myself and what I was doing. It took a good couple of months before I was really comfortable with what I was doing.
September: It was all I could do to get to this month! Getting to labor day was my #1 goal! It was only 2 weeks after school started, but it seemed to take an eternity! I spent it at home, sleeping in, still getting my room put together! Still getting use to school and worrying about my first eval AHHHHH!
October: FINALLY a few days off! I took a trip down to Utah! It was nice to have some time off to relax and see friends and family... mostly family :) I got back and started my after school job - yeah a job on top of every thing else... believe me I dont know how I did it either! It was nice to have a little money rolling in! Especially since this month I finally had friends and we went out to eat like literally every night... 0_____o
November: Really getting the hang of the classroom! My mentor teacher still has to leave the room when I am teaching so I can actually be the one teaching baha! Kids are seeing me as a teacher and are actually coming to me for stuff instead of my mentor teacher :) AAAWWW YEAH!
December: Basically the last 2 weeks of teaching I was by myself- mentor teacher was a sicky or his kids were a sicky so I was the "sub" which was nice for everyone! I got some good teaching practice in, he got some time off, and the kids still got good lessons because I knew what the crap was going on instead of some random sub who had no idea! This was also when I realized I needed to stay in Idaho, and at my after school job! So like a week before I was supposed to come home, I urgently call home needing to stay in Idaho after break! So we got it all taken care of and I found a new place to live, kept my after school job, and was flying back to TX for 3 weeks!
Looking back, I cannot believe how much I have changed and what all I have learned! Coming back I actually feel like an adult I think.. haha Just thinking about 6 months ago before I started all of this and now... I am such a completely different person.. at the core still the same but really a different person when it comes to how I think about myself, what I know I am capable of and where I need to be going in my life. Student teaching was the craziest, most difficult, intense, worst, and BEST time of my life I can't wait to see what else is in store!
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